Freedom Day.
Last month, in one of our weekly team catch ups my colleague commented how we were in Week 10 of our Covid lockdown. That it is now September, but yesterday it was June.
“It is now September, but yesterday it was June.”
I was completely shook.
We are only now just starting to emerge from our homes, getting those much-needed haircuts and unveiling our faces hidden away by masks, as we reconnect with family and friends outside of our LGAs and our 5km radius.
It's hard to believe to we were in lockdown for 106 days. 15 weeks. 3.5 months. One quarter of a year.
Where has the time gone? What have I done? And the answer is nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Week 10 was probably the hardest to handle for me. Unfortunately, I live in an 'LGA (local government area) of concern'. We had been living under the tightest restrictions including not being able to leave 5km from home, living with a curfew, limitations on the amount of time we were allowed outdoors, and not even allowed to put your bin out without having to wear a mask.
Without news on when the lockdown would end, with nowhere to go, no one to see, very little to look forward to and get excited about, it was difficult to keep positive. When every day is Groundhog Day it was hard to have any motivation.
And for a good while, I did not feel like myself. But, I didn't actually know how I felt. I did not put in the time to reflect on how the isolation may have affected my mental health. I would not say that I became depressed or anxious, but more like a numbness. Or at least a restlessness from the cabin fever. Or maybe I was just handling it well, still remaining calm and not letting it get to me…at least on the surface.
During this time I discovered a new podcast called F*ck Saving Face which discusses mental and emotional health for Asian Americans (which I’ll just take as Westernised Asians). At a time where I started to feel emotionally voided, it could not have come at a better time. The format of the series usually involves a personal essay from the host Judy Tsuei, an interview and a mindfulness practice pertaining to a particular theme (often considered taboo in Asian culture) each week. Listening to her calming voice whilst she discusses issues that I can very much relate to has given me food for thought and kept me grounded. Since then, with the podcast as thematic prompts, as well as some additional reading on parenting and child development, I have done a lot of self reflection and have really dug deep to find to some new realisations about myself. I guess in a way it has been a bit of self therapy.
I admit the ‘focus on me’ theme has fallen to the wayside the past few months, but with winter behind us and getting some beautiful spring days, I have been more motivated to get outside and practice some yoga in the sunshine during my work breaks. My mood has definitely improved with the break in routine.
“A bit of Vitamin D and movement really does wonders for your mental health.”
I also impulsed a yoga program focused on building core and upper body strength, and with the consistency of following the program (and some very challenging exercises) my body is feeling revitalised.
I may not have achieved any personal goals during the lockdown, but I'm learning to give myself grace and accept that that is okay. We don't always have to focus on progression, sometimes we need to give ourselves some space and do what we can to get by, maintain our health and our sanity.
With the darkness of lockdown hopefully behind us for good, life is starting to look a little bit brighter once more.
