Some of you might be coming to the point in your lives where you’ve found your special someone and it’s time to get serious. Whether it’s to move in together or settling down and getting married, figuring out how to coordinate together as a unit can get complicated. We’ve spent most of our lives being individuals and doing our own thing. When two separate lives become entwined it can take a bit of an adjustment to find a system that works best for both of you.
I’ve been married for a year now and living with my husband for three after getting a place together. No-one has really taught us how to live together and I haven’t come across any articles about the logistics of how to manage your life admin with your partner when there are matters that relate to the both of you. We are still in a continual process of optimising how we work together but here are some systems that have worked well for us.
Create a joint email account
It was just after getting engaged and moving in that we started planning our wedding. I, being the digital person that I am, wanted to reduce the number of printed inserts in the wedding invitation, had decided to create a website instead. RSVPs were collected here. This meant we needed an email address to receive all the RSVP submissions. It was then that I suggested that we create a joint email account with a shared inbox so that we would both be across all the responses that were coming through.
This ended up being a genius idea because we are now able to direct any communication that relates to both us to the single email address. From creating accounts to manage utilities, organising home loans and insurance, to making bookings for holidays. The shared inbox means the task of managing these life admin tasks is shared, and both get access to the communication at the same time without relying on one person to inform the other.
“If you are going to be managing a household together, I could not recommend getting a joint email enough.”
Once you use it to create shared accounts, admin becomes a lot easier.
Collaboration is key
As I had mentioned previously, I favour cloud-based applications so that information can be accessed anywhere. What I didn’t mention is that cloud services also often allow sharing and collaboration features. This is key to managing life admin with your partner especially when you have separate personal accounts and only want to share what is relevant.
Source: lastpass.com
Protip: For all the shared accounts that you’re creating using your joint email, use Lastpass to manage your passwords. Lastpass is a must have tool on its own. It's a cloud-based password manager which stores account details and can auto-fill login forms so you never have to remember a password again. Password rules may vary and you technically shouldn't be using the same password for all your accounts. For shared accounts, if someone decides to change the password of an account, so long as it's updated in Lastpass, the other user will be able to log in using the updated password.
Create a joint bank account
This generally happens when you decide to get a home loan together, but it would also be helpful in a de facto relationship. We still have our own personal accounts for our discretionary spending, but for household costs like mortgage/rent, bills and groceries, it makes it a lot easier if you had an account where you both have contributed. This means don’t have to deal with figuring out splits or who owes what later. When you're married, what's yours is theirs and vice versa and you're in it together so it makes sense for finances to be managed together.
Take advantage of family accounts
There are some services which allow for family accounts. Use these when you still want your own personal profile so that your experience is tailored to your preferences, but you don't want to be paying for two separate accounts. An obvious service is Netflix, but we also have a family Spotify account for our household.
Sync your calendars
When you're in a relationship you will be doing a lot of things as a unit. Invitations to social events often get extended to your partner. If they're not already included in a Facebook event invite, create a meeting in your calendar and invite them to it so they know when it's on. If it's not with their own friends, don't assume that they'll remember. Got appointments or errands they need to attend? Put it in the calendar and book in their time. Though my husband and I are often together, we still see ourselves as individuals and it's important to respect each others time.
Open communication is fundamental to any healthy relationship. Using joint accounts and collaborative tools is just another way of opening communication channels when dealing with your life admin, allowing for transparency and trust.
What have I missed? How do you manage life with your partner? If you’ve got any further tips or systems that have helped you manage the day to day with your partner, please share in the comments below :)
